first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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