I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
