R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
