It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i drank out of a bidet.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
