oh fat girl friday strikes again...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
