Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
