What did we do last night that was yellow?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
