so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
