Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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