genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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