i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
My dick has a subreddit
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Randomize
