I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
