I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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