Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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