I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
