just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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