**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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