paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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