Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
