32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
