I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
