so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
All the doctor said was why
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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