Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
