Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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