Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
