He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
