Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
