I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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