If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
