next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
