I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
