This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
