my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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