I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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