We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Houston, we have a blender
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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