I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
