dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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