If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
