the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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