plz talk dirty to me
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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