He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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