she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
