The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
