But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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