Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Randomize
