It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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