HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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