Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
im six kinds of drunk right now
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
