Barsexuality is the new black.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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