Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
ugly people sure do ruin things
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
